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The Evolution of the Samithya Veedu or Hindu Coming of Age Ceremony

Food Recipes

Rocky Road Bars

Mom to Mom Motherhood

Traumatic Births & Postnatal PTSD

updated on January 17, 2021January 12, 2021Food Motherhood Uncategorized

Introducing Baby to Solids – Guidelines I Follow to Ensure Optimal Gut Health

In more recent years, it has been the norm to introduce baby to solids around the four month mark, however this is not something I …

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updated on January 17, 2021January 9, 2021Baked Goods Recipes Uncategorized

Eggless Butter Cake Recipe

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Brioche Bread French Toast

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updated on January 17, 2021November 12, 2020Food Recipes

Shrimp & Vegetable Jambalaya (Instant Pot Recipe)

Jambalaya is a spicy one pot rice dish native to West Africa. It uses a combination of onion, celery, green pepper, thyme, in addition to …

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updated on January 17, 2021October 10, 2020Food Recipes

Pumpkin Macaroni & Cheese

Last Autumn, I heard of pumpkin macaroni and cheese and sort of dismissed the thought of pumpkin in macaroni. A few weeks later I had …

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updated on September 14, 2020September 14, 2020Food Lunchbox

5 Helpful Tips for the Lunch-Packing Parent

When my children were enrolled in school, one of my greatest joys as a mother was packing lunches and snacks for the school day. I felt …

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updated on January 17, 2021August 10, 2020Food South Asian Cuisine

Rava Laddu

Rava laddu is one of the first sweets that I learned to make. With minimal ingredients and minimal cooking time involved, it has always been …

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updated on August 2, 2020August 2, 2020Motherhood

Women Empowerment: More Than Just a Trendy Instagram Challenge

Patriarchy has taught us to envy, judge, and even destroy other women instead of working together to reach new heights. We preach about uplifting women …

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updated on August 2, 2020July 29, 2020My Life

The Fourth Trimester: A Post-partum Update

It’s been two months since I gave birth to Shree and the reality of it all is only hitting me now. Everything I passed off …

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updated on January 17, 2021July 26, 2020Culture

Varalakshmi Viratham

Varalakshmi Viratham/Fast falls on the first Friday before the full moon in the Tamil Month of Aadi (mid-July to mid-August). This year, the Viratham falls …

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About Me

Hello! I'm Geerthana Uthayakumar and I reside in Toronto, Canada with my family of six. I am a homeschooling mom to four fun loving and very energetic children who constantly keep me on my toes. My passion for cooking from scratch, wellness, and culture combined with my love for writing led to the start of Modern Day Brown Mom in 2015. Through my blog I share my parenting adventures, experiences as a young mother, recipes, tips for healthy eating and more. When I'm not looking after the household, experimenting in the kitchen, blogging or writing, I work on my passion project – Devi Wellness Company.

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Geerthana Uthayakumar
About 10 years ago I remained at home all day thin About 10 years ago I remained at home all day thinking I was experiencing Braxton Hicks or false contractions when in fact I was having real contractions. Having had a painful induction and intense contractions with my oldest, I had no clue what natural contractions felt like. I had been admitted into labour and delivery twice earlier that week and didn't want to go in a third time only to be sent back home for labour not progressing and refusing an induction. I was really hoping to experience an unmedicated birth at full-term the second time around. When I called my mom around 11pm on May 8th to tell her I was going to try to sleep and get some rest before going to the hospital in the morning, my dad overheard and insisted that I go in immediately. And thank goodness for that even though at times I kind of wish Karthik had been born at home 😅. My mom came to pick us up and during the drive to the hospital I realized I was having regular contractions less than a minute apart. My mom was so anxious that Karthik would be born in the car but we managed to drop off my 16 month old with my dad and make it to the hospital just before midnight. It was confirmed that I was 9cm dilated and I was immediately prepped for delivery. An hour later Karthik was born. My pregnancy wasn’t ideal due to complications from an autoimunne flare up but I wouldn’t change a thing about Karthik’s birth. I revel in the fact that I was in control and confident about giving birth and that I had the opportunity to experience the birthing process in all it’s glory. He is the only child out of my four that made it almost to his due date and as a result my only unmedicated birth. And just as his entrance into this world, he's been such an easy-going child with a calm and sweet demeanor about him. It's truly been a joy raising him for the past ten years. Yesterday we celebrated my Udayan Karthik's 10th birthday with all edible car-themed cake and all of his favourite vegetarian food. He had a wonderful day however I'm still having a difficult time accepting that I now have two kids in the double digits. Babies sure grow up fast. #10thbirthday #carcake #moderndaybrownmommom
He'll be 10 soon and I've been so emotional lately He'll be 10 soon and I've been so emotional lately reflecting upon the past decade. When I found out my second-born was a boy, many told me I was lucky to have a boy rather than another girl solely on the perception that raising boys is easier. But I've always felt that raising boys is much more challenging. As I parent, I have to make sure to dismiss every gender stereotype that unfairly exists in his favour as a result of this patriarchal world and as a result raise the standard for him. My goal has always been to raise a kind, compassionate, empathetic man with a strong sense of not only morals but equality; strong enough that patriarchy doesn't easily influence or sway him. Although I have years ahead of me left, I am somewhat relieved that I'm on the right track. Over the course of a decade he's been at my side, ready to offer a hand without me ever having to ask. When I was pregnant with his baby sister, he offered to take on vacuuming knowing how hard it was for me to vacuum but also knowing how much it meant for me to have a clean space. When I was recovering from my C-section, two years ago, he would grab every ingredient I needed to cook so I didn't have to bend down or reach up high to grab them regardless of what he was busy doing. He started mopping the kitchen after every meal I cooked like I usually do. This continues to this day with him prepping/cooking alongside me and helping me lift barrels and boxes when I'm making products for my small shop. He's also very encouraging, highly supportive, and truly plays a huge role in the success of my business. He even bought me a gift for getting through my first pop-up shop last November. Although he's not very organized himself, he makes the effort to do things in a neat and organized manner for me because of how much it means to me. CONTINUED. 📸: @saakshiphotography
When I first started my small shop, my well-meanin When I first started my small shop, my well-meaning family and friends questioned whether a business that implemented culture, both Indigenous Thamil and Vedic influenced, would do well. They felt the products wouldn't receive the attention they deserved because of the names I chose for them. However I wanted to use @deviwellnesscompany and the small platform I've built as a result, as an opportunity to share and educate. Not only have I been able to showcase the many herbs, seeds, and ingredients native to ancient Tamil country and the Eastern parts of the world but I've been able to share knowledge and history where applicable and reclaim some of the words taken from the Tamil language in the process. Considering what my people have gone through and are continuing to go through, this means so much more to me than any profit ever could. This Tamil New Year, I'm excited to launch the first half of my line of aromatic candles for my small shop. All scents are custom blended and thus unique to the brand and each candle pays homemage to the Thamil language as it features Thamil names and Thamil script. Each candle also comes with a small description card which incorporates a bit of the history behind the scent or name. From jasmine flowers and roses to sandalwood, incense, spiced tea, mangoes, vetiver, and more, these rich and familiar smells are sure to invoke feelings of nostalgia while making a statement within your homes. And because giving back is important, 15% of all candle sales will be donated to @palmeraprojects ; an organization dedicated to creating sustainable livelihoods for the most vulnerable communities in Sri-Lanka through a variety of projects and initiatives. In addition, one tree will be planted for each candle sold via One Tree Planted; a nonprofit charity organization dedicated to global reforestation, cleaner air and water, creating habitats for biodiversity, and creating jobs and social impact through the planting of trees. Happy Thamil New Year to all those celebrating! . . . #moderndaybrownmommom #deviwellnesscompany #candleshop #tamilnewyear
When I saw this photo of my oldest, I couldn't bel When I saw this photo of my oldest, I couldn't believe there was a time when I stressed about her growth. When Akshaya was born one of the first things people asked was how much she weighed. Even though I was not comfortable discussing it, I obliged because it's common practice to introduce babies by weight, length, and time of birth. When I disclosed her weight of 5 pounds I received a lot of looks of worry and pity despite the fact she was born weeks early. I was even asked whether I had starved myself in order to have a small, "easy to birth", baby. It only got worse as Akshaya grew and I was constantly told she was small for her age, asked whether I was feeding her enough, and made to feel like I was a neglectful mother for what genetics was responsible for. Then it happened all over again with Vishnu who was even smaller and in the 2nd percentile for weight; currently in the 5th. The comparing of weight and essentially body shaming, starts right at birth from loved ones who for the most part mean well, but also from baby's first wellness visit where baby is put on a growth chart/curve based on their weight for length percentile. A relatively "big" baby is seen as healthy and well-cared for; a source of pride infact and this makes sense when you look back at human history where food was a scarcity. Extra weight, especially in infancy, provided a survival advantage. However society seems to be stuck in the past as it continues to ignore research that suggests quick weight gain in infancy is a strong risk factor for childhood, adolescent, and adult obesity. Society loves big babies until sometime in childhood where it does a 180 and bigger bodies aren't acceptable or tolerated anymore. Obviously weight needs to be tracked for various health reasons but we have to also acknowledge that the widely used growth chart is quite outdated and biased. When comparing babies, we forget to acknowledge the role genetics play, the uniqueness of each pregnancy, and that all babies are different and thus grow differently. Society's obsession over a baby's weight and weight in general is overwhelming and it puts unnecessary pressure on both child and parents. CONT.
The letter I wrote for my oldest, 11 years ago... The letter I wrote for my oldest, 11 years ago... My dearest Akshaya, as we near your very first birthday my heart is bursting with all kinds of emotions; joy at the thought of watching you grow and become your own person and sorrow at the thought of you one day no longer clinging onto me. Although I know you don't belong to me, I can't help but believe the universe conspired to give you to me. It must have heard my prayers, felt my desire to have a child and become a mother, and trusted that I'd do everything in my power, to protect you when it decided it was time to bless me with you. Though sudden and unexpected you were everything I'd ever dreamt of and more; a force to be reckoned with, you always make your presence felt and known. Perhaps it was by divine intervention that I named you Shakthi; divine energy. They say you're a mini-me and although I see so much of me in you and you in me, I sincerely wish for you to be better than me. I wish the parts in you that I've had to hide in me be the strengths you cherish whole-heartedly. From the very beginning you've felt like my destiny; as if our souls were always meant to coexist in harmony. Feeling life grow inside of me has given my life new meaning and my eyes new perspective as they now see differently. Though young and naive I've always felt prepared for the challenges that motherhood will inevitably bestow upon me. Though I may not be able to give you everything you deserve, I will always try my hardest to give you what you need and be the kind of mother that'll help you reach your goals, whatever they may be. I know from time to time I'll inevitably make mistakes as I grow alongside you but I hope you know my love for you will never diminish, it'll only grow exponentially if that's even a possibility. You, my firstborn, are truly special to me. I'll never forget the way you came into this world, five weeks early, during a blizzard no less, gifting me the title of mother as you were placed upon me wide-eyed and ready. And no matter where life takes you I hope you remember all that you mean to me; you'll always be my baby. #moderndaybrownmommom #momblogger
Some days I have it all together and other days I Some days I have it all together and other days I go with the flow. Today was the latter. Homemade mini pizzas with white sauce because we didn't have enough tomatoes to make tomato sauce. We used the one tomato we did have, spinach, red onion, Mozzarella, and @fieldroast Italian veggie sausage as toppings. White Sauce Recipe Ingredients: 2 Tbsp butter 2 Tbsp flour 2 cloves grated/finely minced garlic 1 cup milk 1/2 cup shredded cheese 1/2 tsp dried oregano/basil Salt to taste Black pepper to taste Instructions: Melt the butter in a sauce pan. Add the garlic and flour and cook on medium heat for about 2-3 minutes. Take care not to brown the flour. Add the milk, salt, oregano, and whisk until sauce thickens. Turn off the hear and gently stir in the cheese. Add black pepper to taste. NOTE: Sauce should be fairly thick to use on pizza. A lighter consistency sauce may lead to a soggy pizza as the sauce will melt during baking. Usually parmesan cheese is used to make white sauce however we used a mix of cheddar and Mozzarella as a vegetarian option. #moderndaybrownmom #momblogger #whitesaucepizza #homemadepizza #pizza #whatifeedmykids #vegetarianpizza #vegetariankids #kidlunch #easylunches
When my oldest was one I noticed she was so much l When my oldest was one I noticed she was so much like me in that she struggled with crowded places, loud noises, smells, certain textures of both clothing and food, messy play, and adjusting to new environments, people, and new routines. She was extremely cautious often observing before taking risks, a perfectionist, and became overwhelmed fairly quickly especially when she was tired, hungry, or stressed. Tags on her clothes would bother her so much that I would have to cut them off. The seam of her socks would have to align perfectly with her toes or she would have a meltdown. She would announce that her clothes were wet and want to change as soon as a drop of water got on them. She would startle when people spoke loudly or when she heard loud sounds and get anxious and want to leave when the library or store got crowded. She was also a perfectionist; placing her shoes neatly on the doormat and folding her clothes perfectly by the age two. She was very intuitive and very empathetic often struggling to cope when I was experiencing Lupus flares and refusing to speak or go about her regular routine when I was hospitalized. She was extremely bright, creative, and articulate for her age, making use of a large vocabulary to express herself and ask never-ending but thought-provoking questions, when she wasn't stressed. When she started school, her teacher pointed out she would use the bathroom about 14 times a day just to wash her hands because she didn't like when they got messy and refused to hold hands with or hug classmates. One time she even refused to sit on the class carpet because she claimed it was wet even though all the other kids were sitting on it and the teacher reassured her that it wasn't. Upon her teacher inquiring, it turned out the carpet had been shampooed the night before. Prior to starting first grade, she became anxious at the thought of having to use a different bathroom than the one she had gotten accustomed to. This prompted me to take her to the school a few times over the summer to get her accustomed to the new bathrooms. CONTINUED in the comments.
The other day my 11 year old confided in me about The other day my 11 year old confided in me about something I would have never even dreamt about telling my parents. It was such a profound moment for me because I recognized that I was headed in the right direction in cultivating a relationship built on trust and unconditional love. It's always been my goal to be able to offer the kids a safe space where they have permission to say what they are thinking or feeling without the fear of judgment, shame, or punishment. When people think of motherhood they often think of babies and toddlers because the littlest ones usually take up the most time. Older kids are often seen as less work due to their growing independence especially during the pre-adolescent phase where they tend to gravitate towards peers and other interests. However I feel that a strong parent-child relationship during the pre-adolescent years when children are physically, emotionally, socially, and cognitively changing and testing rules and limits in the process, can set the stage for a less stressful, less rebellious, less secretive teenage phase. Obviously this is difficult as children tend to share less and less of their lives with their parents as they grow. But the key to gaining your child's trust has to be in respecting your child's need for greater autonomy while keeping lines of communication open. One way I do this is by setting aside one-on-one time for my 11 and almost 10 year old on the weekend when their dad can occupy their little siblings. This way they get the undivided attention they miss out on the weekdays and a chance to bond with me without interruptions. It can be hard to get pre-teens to talk but when we are doing something they enjoy doing such as cooking, the conversations tend to flow naturally. We talk about all sorts of things that may feel uncomfortable otherwise. Plus they get the opportunity to learn a life skill and gain confidence in the kitchen. It's bittersweet knowing my oldest two are almost teenagers but hopefully as the kids transition into teenagers, they'll remember that when they need someone to listen to them, or empathize with them, or give them advice that I'll be there. #moderndaybrownmom
There are very few books I've read that have stuck There are very few books I've read that have stuck with me and influenced me in regards to how I choose to parent. One author that I keep coming back to is Dr. Gabor Maté, ever since I discovered his work back in 2013. Not only is his perspective enlightening but it reinforces a lot of my beliefs. For those unaware, Dr. Gabor Maté is a Hungarian-Canadian physician, born during the Holocaust, author, speaker and addiction and trauma expert. Although his background is in family practice and palliative care, he has expertise in childhood development and trauma, and their potential lifelong impacts on physical and mental health, including autoimmune disease, cancer, ADHD, addictions, and more. For those interested, a lot of his talks can also be found on YouTube in which he speaks of the impacts of stressed parenting, gentle parenting, his disapproval of time-outs, ferberization/sleep-training, and more. He often refers to today's culture as "anti-child" in that children are made to fit into the busy schedules of adults who ignore their parental instincts so much so that they have become removed from them and his perspectives often offer solutions to remedy that. His talks are truly compassionate and judgement-free which is probably why he's so popular and impactful. If I were to recommend one book for all parents, and anyone who has contact with children, it would be "Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers" written by Dr. Gabor Maté and psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld. The book explores society today in which children tend to spend less time with parents than in the past and as a result look to their peers for direction, value, and identity, which inherently undermines the concept of family, destroys the school atmosphere, and fosters a hyper aggressive and overly sexualized youth culture. The book also provides insight into the environmental factors necessary for healthy child development, how these conditions are increasingly under threat in today’s society, and how parents and educators can maintain their leading role during the challenges posed by modern culture such as bullying, the rise of social media, and videogames. CONTINUED.
Raising her has been smooth, a joy infact, not bec Raising her has been smooth, a joy infact, not because she's been an easier baby than her siblings but because I have the experience of having raised three kids prior to her. Her mannerisms, her smile, the silly things she does, and the risks she takes remind me so much of her older sister. But it's a bittersweet feeling knowing she gets the best version of me; the most patient, the most flexible, the most gentle, and the least anxious version of me. I realize it's unfair to punish myself for my lack of experience or not having known better 11 years ago with my first because regardless of how much you prepare, motherhood is hard. It throws you curve balls and many times you are left to your own resources to navigate completely new territory. I know I can't control what each child got or gets from me on account of birth order so I tend to shift the perspective and see the positives and the bigger picture instead. My oldest had the most quality, uninterrupted time with me, spent the most time being loved by my family, and everything was catered around her and her schedule but she had a young and inexperienced mother. My second born always had a sibling, someone his age to grow, play, and learn with, and a slightly experienced mother but hardly any uninterrupted one-on-one time. My third born who came years after my second had two teachers and two playmates in his siblings and a much more experienced mother but his life centered around the busy schedules of his older siblings who were in school and in various extra-curricular activities. My youngest has three older siblings who dote on her and the most experienced mother, but she rarely gets quiet for nap-time and the attention and time she gets from me is divided by four. When I really think about it each child got the best of me because there wasn't a day that I didn't try my hardest to be the best mother to each child with what I knew at the time. As much as we want to give each child the same it's just not realistic. If you've ever carried the guilt I'm referring to, I encourage you to also shift the perspective and see the beauty in what you were able to offer each child. 📸:@shotbyshiro #moderndaybrownmom
Today is an auspicious day for many Hindus as we c Today is an auspicious day for many Hindus as we celebrate a few different holidays; Holi, Mahalakshmi Jayanthi, and Panguni Uthiram. Holi, which marks the arrival of Spring, has become a well-known festival to those all over the world due to its high-spirited and fun traditions, especially that of colour play. The festival falls on the full moon day of the month of Palguna (known as Panguni in Tamil), which is mid-March to mid-April in the Gregorian calendar. Although popularly known as the Festival of Colours, Holi is also known as the Festival of Love in the Southern part of India and the Festival of Spring in other regions. Legends associated with Holi vary from region to region but the general traditions remain similar throughout (You can read more about Holi on my blog; link in profile). Today also marks the birth of Goddess Mahalakshmi also known as the Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity. Goddess Lakshmi is said to have been born on Earth on Panguni Uthiram during the legendary churning of the milky ocean/Kshira Sagar as depicted in the epic Mahabharata. Hence the day is also celebrated as Mahalakshmi Jayanthi or birth day of Goddess Lakshmi. Panguni Uthiram, which coincides with a full moon on the Uthiram Natchithiram in the Tamil month of Panguni (mid-March to mid-April on the Gregorian calendar), is observed mainly by Tamil Hindus. It is believed that most celestial marriages took place on this particular day including the marriage of Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvathi in the form of Gowri referred to as Gowri Kalyanam, Lord Murugan and Devasena, as well as Rama and Seetha and Lord Rangamannar and the poet Andal. We celebrated by making a white coloured offering of coconut laddu for Goddess Lakshmi and a simple lunch to break fast with. LUNCH: Thakkali saatham, potato fry, mint chutney, onion raita, and appalam. Pineapple kesari and coconut laddu for dessert. Happy Holi/Lakshmi Jayanthi/Panguni Uthiram to all those celebrating! #moderndaybrownmommom #hindutraditions #tamilcustoms #mommyblogger #tamilblogger #southasiancuisine #vegetariancusine #tamilfood
March 8 marked International Women’s Day; a glob March 8 marked International Women’s Day; a global celebration of the achievements of women and a day which aims to accelerate equality for women. This year the IWD website's campaign theme #breakthebias, seeks to call out the unconscious and implicit biases that make it difficult for women to succeed in communities, schools, the workplace, and beyond. Bias is defined as the action of being in favour of or against a person or group, in a way that is unreasoned and unfair. Of all biases, gender bias, identified as the tendency to prefer one gender, specifically white, heterosexual males, is the most common bias seen in professional settings and it is perpetuated by both genders. Ever since I launched @deviwellnesscompany I've been referred to boss babe, girl boss, and female entrepreneur with intentions of empowerment. However I refuse to identity as "female CEO, female entrepreneur, boss babe, or girl boss" and in that I hope to #breakthebias that there is a differentiator between males and females in business and roles of leadership. The choice of words may seem trivial to some but it is imperative that we remain mindful of how we use our words and our implicated gender assumptions. The terms girl boss and boss babe, meant to empower women in business, actually perpetuate sexism. It feeds into the very same misogynist view that we as women are trying to overturn. Using the term "girl" to describe a grown woman not only allows women to be differentiated from their male counterparts but it also infantilizes women, making them seem less mature, almost akin to children. Using the term "babe", a word objectifying women, is damaging to the way young women view themselves and our fight for equality in the business world. Men do not get referred to as boys or hunks in the workplace. We see men as adults, as domineering authority figures; wise, rational, skillful and knowledgeable. Bestowing upon them this male privilege empowers men to take risks, innovate, and grow into their true power. As a culture, we refuse to envision the same growth for girls who become women that's something that needs to change. How are you choosing to #breakthebias? #moderndaybrownmommom
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